Here comes a rather violent meditation on the subject of narcissism.
Imagine you’re a dumkopf. When you break up with someone, you announce to the world that your partner was emotionally abusive and narcissistic. Or when you imagine in your head with what rage and tantrum the President of the United States posts a tweet in which he uses all or some caps – you announce to the world that this man is narcissistic.
And you also like to announce to the world that someone is narcissistic when they put their own needs first. And to a depressed person everyone will seem narcissistic as nobody seems to care about their hardships. And to other people a depressed person will seem narcissistic because they can’t seem to get their heads out of their asses.
Narcissism! Ah! What a thing to write about.
You pick up the diagnostic manual and you read some of the traits that should describe what makes a narcissist and suddenly you start seeing narcissists everywhere (everyone but yourself, of course).
I say NO. Narcissist is not who you think it is. Narcissist is not someone who makes you feel bad or uncomfortable about yourself. Narcissists aren’t even as clever and cunning as some romanticising ladies make them out to be.
When you get conned by a narcissist – YOU ARE THE SUCKER.
Narcissist are not clever, they are very stupid and short sighted as fuck. You get screwed over by the most childlike impulses and approaches there ever were among the human kind. When you get screwed over, it doesn’t even necessarily mean the other person was narcissistic – it is more likely it happened because you are an enablist idiot.
Narcissistic manipulation has no intention or cleverness in it at all. People who manage to manipulate you simply do what they do with intuition. Say, if a guy kept getting away with stealing and murder, and kept even getting rewarded for it with loot and maybe admiration – he will keep doing it.
If you keep letting a narcissist get away with calling you ugly and useless, and you cling to him all the more aggressively for it – he will keep doing it.
Not because he is a narcissist. Or even not because you are a sucker. But because people keep doing whatever has been proven to them that works out for them best – with their own experience.
I’ve thought and written about this before, and maybe I have deleted it, or maybe it was on Quora. Yes, narcissists are a problem. But so are their enablers.
Deprive a narcissist from all enablers and he will have no choice but to figure out how to sustain himself on his own, with his own muscle, with his own brain, with his own esteem and will to live.
But as soon as you drop in an enabler – you will never see an end to it. A mother who will keep giving you cash for drugs (although she might not know what you are using it for), a partner that will keep clinging back to you after every time you beat the shit out of her after getting piss drunk. Both ends of the spectrum.
I keep thinking enablers – the pathologically altruistic sort of people – are the worst of them all. They bring more damage than narcissists or psychopaths or whoever else is out there. They like to call themselves “extra sensitive people” and “empaths” and whatnot – but in the end it means nothing but another form of destructive impulsivity. Utmost lack of any discipline.
The worst part – these people are completely blind to the damage they cause to the whole world around them. They imagine they are good and nice people and wish the best for everybody and care and put their own needs last.
That sort of impulsivity is far more destructive than a childish form of manipulation (aka I will cry/complain/brag until you get annoyed to the point that you will resentfully fulfil my needs and I get what I want – the essence of all narcissism, seriously).
Why do we have so many standardless enablers in the world? That is a way more serious problem than having narcissists. Women, where the fuck did you drop your balls?
Yeah, fuck you and your “altruist morals”. Just keep on fucking enabling every childish whim, because you believe yourself (and other individuals) to be disposable for the “greater good” or the “society”. I fucking cringe every time I see the word “society” used in the context of why is “society” like this or what is it like that – or what you could possibly woo wee do to make it better.
B O L L O C K S
And because of that crap these altruistic idiots now have the impression that everyone who looks out for themselves or their families first, or who dares to speak their mind in rough manners must be narcissistic. This is so fucking regressive.
Useful idiots are the ones giving birth to and enabling narcissists and “toxic” whoevers.
You want to save the world? Stop being a useful idiot, take care of yourself, put your own needs first and stop expecting other people will do it for you, for change…