Someone’s characteristics were discussed (let’s not get into gossip now), and this sparked in me a thread of thought. A very big deal of a factor in which, it seems to me, determines whether someone is likable or not. Of course, it must work in concert with other similar factors, too, but right now I’d like to explore THIS.
People who are my friends and very favored in twitter are PLEASANT people – they can FEEL the flow conversations, they sense when to say something and more or less when to not say something.
But more importantly, where the actual discovery of the thread was made – in the extended circle there are people who are NOT pleasant. And because they are not pleasant: I don’t love those people, and I don’t like those people. What makes them so unlikable? Because, today I think – they have been one too many times overly rude, obnoxious when there was no call for being rude or obnoxious.
Now, if you know me (and if you don’t, you will know this now): I’m not one to say that good, genuine people can’t ever be rude or obnoxious.
I say: be as rude and obnoxious as it takes when you really need to make someone feel uncomfortable or they won’t leave you alone otherwise. This is a situation I am willing to become provocative in away that is no longer playful (meaning, it’s something we do to new-strangers to check how fragile (in a narcissistic sense – that it might become problematic over time because they can’t carry their own weight and will try to out-source that task to you) they are – playful banter); from a point the banter becomes something else – something that has the intent to drive the other person away, or better – try to change the tune into something more socially acceptable.
I must add I don’t recall I haven’t gotten violently rude to close or close-ish people in relevant circles – only when it is a complete stranger trying to get at something inappropriate in a bar; of course, okay, okay – it gets to that when breaking up with friends or partners (or during a fight in-between, when imagining myself unjustly cornered); suppose it inevitably also becomes this when your close-one is intoxicated and has become very disgusting.
Now, having listed out the cases in which I would or have become become violently rude or obnoxious – I might add I must be assuming other people operate with similar thresholds.
Yet those some people have become overly provocative or rude without me having been too nosy, or drunk and provocative. By the way – I also understand people hissing at me sharply to back off when I have intervened in something that I should not have – this has happened, and I don’t complain – I took a risk, am well aware that people might kick me with a good ol’ knee-jerk.
Anyway – some people seem to be rude and provocative as a default, even – trying to display oneself as a “cool dude” or “cool chick” – maybe imagining this sort of attitude and snark is somehow impressive? Sarcastic, gossipy, very crispy in their commentary and criticisms of third persons etc. And to be honest – while this sort of attitude might provide some entertainment for an hour or so – it wears out really quick and makes me sick just like I’ve eaten some 2 packs of potato chips. And potato chips seems to be the only thing these specific people seem to want to offer (although I have witnessed, they have better days, also).
And for those with whom I have seen better days – there seems to be a common nominator (not me, wrong correlations here!) – habitual consumption of drugs or alcohol – they are either under the influence or suffering a hangover. I would assume this isn’t really a correlating thing either – not everyone who drinks or does drugs is rude to people, after all; and I happened to have a step-mother for a while who was SUPER rude to me – and she didn’t drink or do drugs not even a bit – so, there was a territorial/security reason.
Maybe the drug/alcohol people are also being territorial, just that the consumption of those things makes them more aggressive than usual, more aggressive when they are sober and satiated. It might as well be these people feel insecure about their position, professional standing, social standing – and they see whomever they choose to become obnoxious or rude towards, as a threat. I’d say this is a very shit assumption about my intentions – never interested in someone else’s position – so, today I conclude it as another showcase of bad faith.