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The Perfect Environment

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You enter a room (in which there are other people) – and from that moment you become a part of it. Whether you will like it there, whether you will stick there, will be welcomed or thrown out, or smoked out or seduced to stay without you really wanting to – at least for a while you will become a part of it and become a part of the ongoing dynamics.

If the room you entered makes you feel uncomfortable in any way – the two things you might be driven to do is to try to leave it, try to fit in or try to change it. Which path you attempt might depend on how aggressive you are or aren’t.

If you try to leave it, you either won’t be stop in doing so or someone might some around and try to use some trick on you to convince you to stay. Hey, sometimes it will help you fit in – someone fills in on what’s what, how to behave, what’s going on there, where things are hopefully headed or not, and how you can be of use. Maybe you’ll like it, maybe you still want to change – or maybe you spot some kind of opportunity which makes you want to change the room, then.

If you try to stay and fit in – several things could happen. People might accidentally ignore you (because something or someone else is taking up all their attention); people might intentionally ignore you (I can think of several reasons – both viable, it’s you, it’s them, it’s something else); people might with varying intensity to help make you fit in; or people might provoke (maybe intentionally, maybe unknowingly) you to want to change something about that room. Or you come, try to fit in, and they kick you out without you ever learning why (maybe it’s you, maybe it’s them).

If you try to change it – it can be met with indifference, delight or resistance. You’ll get your moment, but your relevance is forgotten fast – as change might be normal in this room; or you’ll be hailed as a hero, or you’ll be kicked out.

So, there’s you and the room full of people.

There’s three ways you would want to act in that room: leave, stay, change;

There’s about three ways the room can respond to you in each three cases:
leave: they kick you before you can leave, they allow you to stay, they manipulate you to stay;
stay: they kick you, they are indifferent, they make you feel welcome;
change: they kick you, they are indifferent, you get hailed a hero;

Enter virtual spaces, forums, twitter, communities like that. What I have described above is maybe a scenario where you and the room both are fairly rational and simple. In real-virtual-life, whether you sticking around means you just want to stay or you have some plan to try to change something isn’t so clear cut – sometimes you think you stay and serve people by trying to break a “bad” status quo – only to find out the people who are there have already broken YOUR status quo.

And often we fail kicking out people from the bat – precisely because their intentions aren’t very clear to us (or we think we’re benefiting from them somehow (and that’ll be naive and foolish – no, they won’t buy your book/app/service if you keep tolerating their obnoxious trolling – this will only end up alienating people who actually might be interested in what you have to offer, if you had a spine to cut off the weird parasites and toxic trolls));

Keeping the people in your community who are somewhat obviously up to no good doesn’t “reflect” badly on you – it merely reflects how cheap you are. This is my dead tawk, thank you.

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