I do want special recognition for my work – it’s only fair – the work I do is different and exclusive to my employer, and the work I do is different than the work that my co-workers do; of course, I do understand that there is one employer and a 150 workers; or 1 team lead and 4-20 special talents; and effectively it is more difficult to give special treatment from one to many, as it is to give special treatment to one from many…
While getting recognition for our work is important – it is even more important to notice the nuance in recognition. Do you praise each of your team member the same way for the same amount, for the same reasons; or do you actually see how each one of them contribute to whatever it is you all are working on? Everyone’s involvement is different – so ought to be the sort of recognition they get for it.
Now, many of us might have been brought up with the stamp belief that it is selfish, therefore bad and evil to want special treatment. An especially bad a name has “special treatment” earned for itself when teenagers with narcissistic tendencies protest that they are offended, anyone senior to them would claim, oh you don’t deserve special treatment, you snowflake.
While not all of us might deserve special treatment at any point in our lives – particularly because maybe we haven’t done anything useful or noteworthy – we all sure do want it. And the ideas on that end get even the more sobby when we introduce my favorite aspect: interpersonal relationships.
There exist individuals who did not have a good bond with their parents; who do not have close friends or relatives, who have not managed to find themselves a partner in crime, but are stuck struggling with unromance, figuring out which people are simply too far off from your version of reality versus those who’s reality will be, in words, anything you want it to be, as it grants them access to your bedsheets… These people lack personal connections, the kind that are meaningful long-term, with a breath of holy in them. And this, my friends, is loneliness. Can happen, and will be all the more confusing, while meanwhile surrounded by people who claim with the most aesthetic choice of words to be your friends, allies, partners, pals, comrades – yet you feel and know they don’t really see you – and you don’t really get to see them, either.
So, having yourself a partner who is willing to figure out with you how does one go about getting married and buying a pair of golden rings is so much more than two people living in times of good ol capitalism. You don’t do that kind of stuff with anyone – you do it with just the one – the act in itself is special treatment. As are other various acts with less clothing involved regarding those kinds of relationships – sex IS special treatment; now imagine the confusion once you start thinking it’s a silly practical thing like drinking coffee or smoking a cigarette, that you can have with anyone, at any time?
Of course, it is possible to do this adult-people’s act mechanically without really ever considering it as something special or exclusive – just a mechanical thing. An act of masturbation.
Giving a gift of any sort – with a lesser magnitude (well okay, depending on the price-tag (I’ll happily take a Tesla Cybertruck btw, thanks in advance)) – you can make it personalized, meaningful, rare, unexpected – special, exclusive – and it will mean the WORLD to the receiver. Or you can get a cinema gift card for your coworker you never even talked with because someone organized “Secret Santa Event” for Christmas – yet another mechanical act of gift giving, not even close to the joy of real gift giving.
Considering we all have limited time, energy, and most of us money, too – it is NORMAL that we have to make choices and prioritize one person, activity or favorite for another. Often times it won’t even be a sacrifice – your unconscious calculator has already calculated out what is more important to you and what not – but it can get muddy when you have confused beliefs about all that (especially the kind when in priorities you shall leave yourself last!) – now, imagine there is one person in that list of priorities that is the first. You may not know why it’s him or her there – but someone is there (well, there might not be – but nature doesn’t like blank spots (or however the correct way of saying this saying goes, if you don’t have anyone to put there, currently, you put someone there anyway – even when he or she is an imaginary person).
Now, imagine what it is to find out you are that person for someone. For your partner. We all probably wanted to be that one for our parents, yes? And in many cases we were disappointed to find out we didn’t even make it to top 3! But that’s that – that’s the past, whatever! Imagine you get to be someone important for another person.
Who DOESN’T want that? I think if you say you don’t, you’re full of shit. Of course you want that.
A special place can be #2, #3, #4 – not just #1 – too. Or you’ll be important in your niche, the special one in something that you are different and more useful than others are in – and to get recognized and acknowledged as such – while it shouldn’t be a necessity to want to do what you do in the first place – getting that acknowledgement will introduce to you a moment what the great scientists might name as “happiness”.
I am happy when I find out I am important due to something that I could provide – that happiness never lasts, but that’s unimportant – no one is eternally happy anyway. It’s the moment of happiness – even though it is just a moment, it can change a lot, and I can remember it for forever. A moment can be powerful and inspirational.
So, of course I want special treatment, of course I want exclusivity, recognition, praise – to be involved in something to which I can add something that no one else could. Wouldn’t that be something.